Loaves & Fishes, March-April 1987

WARMTH OF BODY AND SOUL: Friendship House

"Then the King will say to those at his right hand, "Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me..."

by Tim Rodden

On any given day or evening a stroll into Meeting Ground's Friendship House at 216 North Market Street in Wilmington, Delaware, will fill you with warmth. At first, you might only feel the warmth emanating from the kerosene heater. But then you look around and realize that the warmth is coming from the people assembled around the heater. You might on first glance only see the racks of clothing and the various "thrift" items. But the Friendship House Thrift Store is much more than your everyday resale shop.

Ever since the cold spell and snows that arrived in the Delmarva Peninsula in January, Friendship House has had a transformation into a "living room" and chapel for many different people who might otherwise be forced to endure the bitterness of the winter weather without refuge. Others come from across the city, walking a great distance in the cold, to gather some of the warmth and companionship from those talking, and at times praying. around the kerosene heater.

The evolution of Friendship House is truly a blessing to all associated with this work. You begin to realize, after settling in, that the best way to describe 216 North Market Street is by saying very simply that it is people in need caring for each other. A true partnership has come about among the visitors and workers at the Thrift Store. The partnership is so complete that the distinction between worker and visitor is virtually non-existent.

The 22nd of January brought a foot of snow to Wilmington. It also brought Herb Stine up from Clairvaux Farm in Cecil County. Herb's first thought upon hearing the weather report was not one of concern for himself in getting to Wilmington, but rather, one of concern for his friends he knew would have to suffer the storm and its aftereffects on the streets.

Bob is probably 60 years old. He is sick and recovering from pneumonia; he has arthritis and high blood pressure. Early in the morning of the first snow storm, Bob had to leave a local mission along with all the others who had spent the previous night there. This particular mission's guidelines require all overnight guests to leave by 6 o'clock every morning. This included Bob in his deteriorated physical condition. He had been on the street for three hours and was ready to pass out from exhaustion when he was noticed and brought to the Thrift Store. He stayed there all day, got warm, drank coffee and conversed with Herb about life. He went back to the mission that night, but it was soon after that he was welcomed into Friendship House to rest and recuperate night and day, to share in life's joys and blessings, meager as they are in the limited surroundings of the Thrift Store. Bob has come to stay with the community of Meeting Ground at Clairvaux Farm where he can fully recuperate without certain obstacles the city was presenting to him.

Gilbert is 47 years old and emotionally/mentally disturbed. He can become aggressive if provoked. He is a non-stop talker when agitated. It was for this reason he was asked to leave the local mission described above. He was not allowed to return there because of his disruptive talking. At Friendship House he found welcome friends who would tolerate his talking and singing.

Sally is the 26-year-old mother of Annette who is 12. They came that same day of the snow storm at 8:30 in the evening. Sally and Annette had been thrown out by Sally's boyfriend. Despondent and upset Sally bought a bottle of alcohol and started to drink while she and her daughter were walking around wondering what to do. 8:30 at night is too late to get into a shelter in Wilmington. Seeing the lights on in the Thrift Store, they entered seeking warmth. They had their expectant mother cat with them. While at the store they were able to stay warm and get in touch with Sally's sister around midnight. They left knowing they would find refuge. (The cat gave birth, prematurely, the following day.)

Frank is 19 years old and has been drinking since he was 12. The day after the snow storm Herb was digging out Meeting Ground's car; Frank came along, grabbed a shovel and helped. Having gotten to the mission too late the night before after drinking, Frank was on the street all night. He had tried to get arrested so that he could be in a warm place, but to no avail. Frank warmed up at Friendship House that day; because returning to the mission was not conducive to kicking his drinking habit, he began staying and minding the store along with Bob at night.

Bill is a minister from California, led by the Holy Spirit to live apart and separate from money. He subsists on the generosity of spontaneous acts of love and hospitality from the people with whom he comes into contact. He feels called at this time to be among the homeless in Wilmington and has developed a spiritual and physical bond with the community of visitors at the Thrift Store.

Bobby is around 40 years old. Released prematurely from the hospital, Bobby tried to seek refuge in a mission shelter. He was refused entry and went to the bus station seeking warmth. Bobby is a person-with-AIDS (PWA). Bill brought Bobby to Friendship House knowing he was in need of care. During Bobby's stay at the Thrift Store he found that Herb, Bill, Frank, Bob, and others of the Friendship House community offered him the acceptance, love and care that had been missing in his life for such a long time. Bill remained at Bobby's side for the entire time he was at the Thrift Store. Bill silently prayed as if in a vigil for good health of body and spirit for Bobby. Bobby is now in a hospital receiving the physical and mental care he so desperately needs. The community continues in prayer for Bobby.

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The most beautiful thing about Friendship House is that people can care and are caring and living for others in need. With the bare necessities of a roof, heat, water and food (crude as they are), love wins out over principalities and powers. No committees were needed to start this work, no grants had to be sought. How much simpler life is if we allow the Gospel of Love to rule our conscience rather than those structures society imposes upon us.

...Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink? And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee? And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?" And the king will answer them, "Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you did it to me."