UPS & DOWNS
March 2001

WELCOME to Dawn, Connie, Pam, Lisa, Sharon, Trish, and Amy.
Happy March Birthday to Lisa!
FAREWELL AND GOOD WISHES to Sarah, Mandy, Christine and Jacqueline, Joyce, Michelle, Lois, and to Barbara and Nathaniel who moved to Clairvaux Farm.

2001 WORK CAMPS

In January, 20 students from St. Andrew's School in Middletown, Delaware, spent a Tuesday morning working at Meeting Ground. Thus far in March a weekend work group has come from St. Andrew Presbyterian Church in Purcellville, VA, a group from Nazareth College, Rochester, NY spent their spring break week working at Meeting Ground, and weekend groups came from First Presbyterian in Newark, DE and from Mechanicsburg Presbyterian in Mechanicsburg, PA.

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A recent program held at Clairvaux Farm introduced attendees to Basic Conflict Resolution Skills. What follows are some points made during the workshop which may be useful to all of us.

Conflict is
- what happens when people disagree
- a perceived divergence of interests
- an opportunity for positive change
"It's not whether you have a conflict in your life, but how you deal with the conflict, that makes a difference."
People respond to conflict in different ways depending on the situation: We may
walk away from the conflict,
put away one's own concerns to satisfy the needs of the other person,
try to make the other person lose by their giving in,
seek middle ground, give up something to get something,
problem solve together to satisfy the needs of both people, a win/win solution.

Steps in conflict resolution:
1. Air all viewpoints
2. Clarify the problem by stating everyone's needs and by agreeing on what the problem is
3. Brainstorm solutions by generating ideas without criticism, ruling out weak solutions, and choosing a solution that meets basic needs of everyone.

RAVEN"S ROLLING READERS

To encourage children to read, to further their education and their self-esteem and to continue contact with those who are former residents of Meeting Ground, a new program being initiated by Raven Keane will be open this spring to all interested children. A "Rolling Book Van" is being fitted with bookshelves, donations of children's books in good condition are being collected, and plans are underway for a regular weekly route to neighborhoods and community centers. Children's books in good condition can be brought to Wayfarers' House, 107 Delaware Avenue, Elkton: 410-398-4381

New Volunteer

Have you met Don Vermilyea? He has 25 years experience as an organic farmer, and he plans to be a Don-of-all-trades-volunteer at Meeting Ground for the year February 2001 to February 2002. Like Ulla Heelein, Meeting Ground's volunteer from Germany, Don is from the Brethren Volunteer Service. Don has been a member of the Church of the Brethren since 1997. Before that he had been attending Quaker Meeting, but he found himself missing sermons as part of the Sunday service, even though he was strongly supportive of the emphasis on peace in the Society of Friends (Quaker Meeting). When a friend suggested he attend the Church of the Brethren because they also were devoted to peace in the world, and they included sermons in their Sunday worship, Don joined the Brethren and has been a member ever since.

He was in his teens during the 1960s, a time when the Vietnam War rages, a time with much pain added to the task of becoming an adult. Don is not sure whether or not he and his brothers were trying to get the attention of their father in their wild "acting out," but, though his father was a good spouse, he seemed unable to give any of his sons "pats on the back " for their achievements.

Don had quit college when he was faced with the first draft lottery. He pondered what he would do if he drew a number that would send him to Nam: become a fugitive, move to Canada, accept the draft and end up in a stockade? With enormous relief he learned he had drawn a #362, which meant he was not called into the service. This was the beginning of many changes in his life.

In the 1970s Don spent three years traveling the country and found what we were doing to the planet heartbreaking. He became an organic farmer, and he finished college with majors in secondary education and geology. He liked school teaching enough that he might still be doing it, but he was teaching to make enough "clean money" to buy his own farm. (What did he mean by "clean money"? Money earned by work that does not injure the earth or people; work that is helpful to people and the environment.) He says he was so satisfied with work on his farm that he feels he literally lived in paradise.

His pastor in recent years wanted him to become a minister, and to explore that possibility Don attended three seminars. He decided that kind of ministry was not for him; going back to school did not appeal to him, but he did feel called to use the gifts he had been using for himself for others. He felt called "to work for the Lord," something he could ignore, belittle, escape from into other pursuits, or a beckoning to which he could say "Yes." He does not believe God throws roadblocks in our paths, but if obstacles happen, he thinks God gives us a way to get through them. He chose a challenging volunteer spot in Southern California, a youth camp, as his first assignment. Meeting Ground is his second volunteer site.

Don believes we always have a choice, which he sees as both a blessing and a curse; for example, he says, he can hang onto the past , or he can "Let go and forgive." He has lived near Albany, NY, in West Virginia, in California. We hope he will have a fruitful time with us in Maryland.