The Newspaper of Wayfarer's House
September, 1998 Issue  /  Esther Smith, Editor

Welcome to residents Heather and Nina, Hannah, and Stephanie's son Jamie, born 12:02 a.m., Sept. 18, and weighing 6 lbs. 8 oz. Farewell and good wishes to Missy and Jamie, Jean, Sharon, Amy, Cindy and Dori.

GROUP ACTIVITIES

Sun., 3:15 p.m. - Leave House for Farm / 4:00 - Chapel at the Farm / 5:00 - Dinner

Mon., 2:00 - 4:00 p.m. - Dr. Aaron sees patients / 8:00 p.m. - Drug and Alcohol Group

Tues., 8:00 p.m. - Health/STD workshop / 9:00 p.m. - House meeting

Wed., 6:30 - 8:00 - Parenting Group

Thurs., Noon - Financial planning workshop / 7:30 p.m. Bible Study

Our thanks to Erik Schaumann for his constant maintenance and repairs at the house. Most recent thank-you's to Erik: the exhaust fan installed in the smoking area and the TV antenna positioned on the roof. Thanks, too, for moving and setting up the two bunk beds.

Congratulations to Tonya for another yard sale on Sept. 22. We know it takes hours of work to organize, publicize, sell and clean up afterward. We hope you will add the yard sale labor to your resume.

We are pleased to report that Union Hospital has approved Dr. Aaron's Monday afternoon medical calls at Wayfarers' for a five-year period. Residents of both the Farm and the House may see

Dr. Aaron at the House on Monday afternoons when they are ill.

Our sympathy to Renee Steele in the recent loss of her niece in Seattle. Renee serves as a volunteer at the House five days a week.

Our sympathy also to John and Mary Jo Williams, long-time supporters of Meeting Ground, in the recent death in Texas of John's father. Mary Jo is a regular volunteer at Wayfarers', and John currently serves on the Program Committee of Meeting Ground.

PARENTING GROUP REPORT
Reprinted from the Sept.-Oct., 1998, Loaves and Fishes. (some facts have been updated for this printing.)

Several women from Clairvaux Farm and from Wayfarers' House have been attending a "Parenting Group" held at the House on Wednesday evenings from 6:30-7:30. The content of the sessions is taken from How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, two parents and pupils of the late Haim Ginnott, who wrote Between Parent and Child and other helpful books.

Three mothers from the Farm have already received certificates for completing the first eight sessions, designated as Level I. Our congratulations to Stephanie, Crystal and Linda.

In order to give group members an opportunity to discuss the issues they personally encounter in their parenting, as well as to have time to apply the new ideas with their own children and then discuss results in the group, the course is proceeding gradually through the course content, hence the chance to earn a certificate at each of the three levels.

Topics involve listening to and understanding your child's concerns, how parent and child can each deal helpfully with feelings, how to have cooperation in a family without nagging, how to find alternatives to punishment and how to help a child feel positive about herself/himself. Another way of expressing the content is this: "How to let adults live closer to a child's world and how to help a child become a healthy adult."

Three women volunteers have taken turns leading the group, with all three at most of the sessions. Barbara Amman, one of the three, has completed her three months for which she and her husband came to Meeting Ground as volunteers and is now en route to the West Coast. Mary Jo Williams and Esther Smith are the remaining two facilitators.

Ms. Williams has charted the twenty-plus concerns the parents expressed at the first session of the group as well as a summary of the fifteen or more concepts discussed from the text and from the women's experiences. These summaries are included with a woman's certificate in a folder at the completion of a level, along with summaries of text content and of the last ten minutes of each group hour, a component designed by Williams.

These 10-minute "Health and Safety Tips" for the week targeted subjects such as dental care, the importance of washing hands, water safety, healthier snack foods, protection from second-hand smoke, teaching children emergency numbers and addresses, avoiding abusive language, and providing oneself as a healthy example for the child. A small prize was given each group member as a reminder of the week's tip, such as a toothbrush and toothpaste for the dental care tip. Level II tips will focus on values.

Underlying the group meetings are certain assumptions, some of which are that all parents want to help their children grow to be healthy adults and are capable of doing that for their children, that parents feel sad and/or guilty when they have not been able to give a child the needed guidance, that parents often feel isolated and dissatisfied with ways they themselves were parented but lack training in better methods of raising children. Who has not felt underprepared for being a parent? Combining parents to share ideas and to report successes should help us all.

Some additional resources shared during the first eight sessions of the parenting group:

Bright Futures, an activity book from the National Center for Education in Maternal and Child Care Health, Arlington, VA, 1997

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, Robert Fulghum

Children Learn What They Live -- Parenting to Inspire Values, Dorothy Nolte and Rachel Harris

SOS Help for Parents, Lynn Clark, Ph.D.

Nurturing Book for Babies and Children, Juliana Dellinger Bavolek, M.S.E.

Reminder: The wish list for Wayfarers' remains essentially the same as published in the August issue. Those items are always needed and gratefully received.